Its always best to learn from other's mistakes than from one's own

Now that it is going to be a year since i've been married I look back and see that a lot has changed! But this change is acceptable and predictable to an extent because change is necessary if a long lasting marriage is desirable

However one thing that doesn't change and is irreversible is your marriage week! I am sure there are more things that do not change but this is one that came to my mind.

This one week before your wedding is very crucial for all brides and grooms... you can mess it up and regret it for the rest of your life! Or you can deck it up and cherish it for the rest of your life. I belonged to the former group. How unfortunate! In fact I was warned by an older cousin and I still messed it up

I was told not to take any responsibilities but just sit back relax and dream about my wedding day and days that follow but unfortunately I decided to get involved in everything that was going on... took too much load... wanted a say in everything and I was not happy with anything. Now I realize that the reason for all that was the nervousness inside me. I had too many apprehensions and a feeling if all this was worth it. Every time we went shopping I had a heavy heart seeing the amount of money spent on my wedding. So much pressure to look fair and pretty! What not?

But now when I think about it all that tension was unnecessary. My parents were more than happy to spend on my wedding and they always wanted me to have the best as if this was their last chance to get me things that I wanted. I should have just enjoyed their love and care for me instead of worrying!

I worried about my brides maids. I knew each one of them personally and my family cared for them and was more than happy to have them around. But still I worried about them. What a waste of time! I should have just trusted my family for taking care of them and my friends for being adjusting like always

I was so worried about my looks too! Ha ha...

Jokes apart... the message I am trying to convey here is that don't take up responsibilities during your own wedding. Even if everything is not in place on your wedding day you will not know about it because you will be busy smiling at everyone :) So might as well start smiling a week earlier.

I lost a lot of weight worrying... fought with my parents for very silly things. Thankfully they knew that it was my frustrated mind and body which caused all that unrest. There are days where I really wish I could be a bride once again and enjoy my most beautiful day!

Women like to be like Men

Women want to learn astrophysics, climb trees, drive a bus and go to the other end of the globe sailing a boat! Why not? Really why not? Why should only men have all the fun???

Women are equal to Men and they are not meant to stay back home, give birth to children and take care of a family!

With basic education women say I have studied “so much” and I am not expected to stay at home. I am meant to be elsewhere, doing big things! I will get married only if I find a guy more qualified than I am and who will let me live a life full of freedom... I feel like laughing at it! How foolish? How insignificant are these criterion end of the day?

Women in this era are on the run to become like men... they wish to earn hefty amounts of salary. They forget the beauty of supporting the family emotionally and takes pride in supporting the family financially because it is manly. They look at staying back home for their own children as suppression and loss of opportunity. I am one of them myself!

But I got this realization when I met a lady who graduated from National Law School, Bangalore and is now married and a mother of 3 beautiful children. In spite of being in the US with a lot of opportunities she decided to stay back home and take care of her family. She doesn’t demand for an opportunity cost as she doesn't think it is a wasted opportunity. So now what happened to all her high level education? Education is not means to make money! Her education remains with her and has developed a unique culture in her. She uses her education to be a refined person and people love her and respects her for her personality and confidence. She is a super mom, a wife with wisdom and a social contributor.

I feel like these days Men ensure their counterparts enjoy enough freedom. So women should not exploit this freedom but make sure they use the freedom to be independent and be a responsible daughter, sister, wife, mother etc and not try hard to be a son, brother, father etc Look at the larger picture and do what you are meant to do and let the others do what they are meant to do! Never let education and a fancy job to restrict your life and restrict your future. Its supposed to give you more options in life!

I don't know if am digging my own grave but I realize there are several such examples... examples of women who abide by the law of nature and not go against it!

Work Life Balance :)

A favorite topic for all married women! A mandatory topic in all HR classes! A practically difficult topic in most marriages! One and only topic we have fought for in our marriage of 10 months and engagement of 3 years and 2 days!

Ha ha... its so funny how every time we come up with new strategies to materialize "work life balance" and invariably fail every time

Well after a lot of effort on tackling this issue I have decided to take a different stroll this time and I was inspired by one of my aunts who said everyone must have a passion in life! In others words everyone must be engaged in something that will keep them busy and generates interest and excitement on a daily basis

A healthy living could be your passion. In which case you get back home from work with a plan to work out, prepare a healthy meal for your family and believe in “early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise”. You may think this is a daily routine and hence it is monotonous but if its your passion you take it beyond routine. Surf the internet to find out new ways to healthy living, maintain a blog with all your healthy living practices, go out shopping, grow a few vegetables and so on a so forth

A fashionable life style could be your passion! surf through all the various online sites and do window shopping. Create an opinion on various products and blog your views. Buy, Exchange and Return! Spend time finding the right size, research on cloth type and design, get familiar with unknown brands. There is so much to do

When asked about my hobby, I always make up things because that's like the worst of all questions I can be asked. I don't have a hobby as such. I can neither sing nor dance. I don't have a stamp collection... but passion is different. You don't need to be talented to be passionate!

All those of you who worry about “Work Life Balance”, try out this new mantra! If you not naturally passionate about something take an effort and become passionate about something that you are remotely interested in and develop it into a living habit that keeps you moving...

Key to being happy is keep yourself busy with things that interest you :) Thn you will realise you have attained "Work Life balance". You'll end up working as much as your husband :)

Experiences are worth it!

A lot has happened over the past one year where I have not even got the time to write a blog!

A lot in the sense I graduated from college, got married, shifted into a new place, a new house and a new family altogether, made new friends, changed my identity, shopped online, traveled abroad, started a new job, a new industry, made new blunders, met up with a few road accidents, attended the first funeral ever in my house and more

Looking back at everything that happened over the last one year, I realize that there were good and bad experiences but they were all “experiences worth it” !!! I started appreciating the importance of having experiences in life. Now I know how to empathize with others who have similar experiences! How unfortunate it is if we are unable to empathize with others!
This brings me back to my first ever dreadful experience of losing my wallet with everything under the sun in it! My wallet had all my ATM cards, identity cards, visiting cards, letters with memories, room keys and cash! I was literally stranded in the middle of the road not knowing how to proceed without cash, identity and keys to my room. That's when my father called me up and consoled me saying “ take this is as an experience which will help you empathize with others in similar situations. Now you know how to react when your friend or any stranger on the road loses a wallet”

Likewise I've never been able to see a situation where my loved ones die till I lost my dear uncle recently. Now I perfectly know how people feel when they lose someone close to them. Everything looks more real now. Death has become a reality and the need to live a good life has become a necessity in my life

We hear of accidents every day through the newspaper and other media sources but how many of us have been able to live the trauma encountered by people in the play? Accidents were always a news for me till I hit a man on the road... that too because of my lack of concentration. By the grace of God the man survived without serious injuries but I had just another big experience in life. Now I know how the drivers feels after an accident... The driver's heart stops!

This is how I console myself when something unfortunate happens in my life! I tell myself “ next time when something like this happens to someone, I know how it feels and I will be able to give a helping hand”
Isn't this a beautiful feeling :)