Its always best to learn from other's mistakes than from one's own

Now that it is going to be a year since i've been married I look back and see that a lot has changed! But this change is acceptable and predictable to an extent because change is necessary if a long lasting marriage is desirable

However one thing that doesn't change and is irreversible is your marriage week! I am sure there are more things that do not change but this is one that came to my mind.

This one week before your wedding is very crucial for all brides and grooms... you can mess it up and regret it for the rest of your life! Or you can deck it up and cherish it for the rest of your life. I belonged to the former group. How unfortunate! In fact I was warned by an older cousin and I still messed it up

I was told not to take any responsibilities but just sit back relax and dream about my wedding day and days that follow but unfortunately I decided to get involved in everything that was going on... took too much load... wanted a say in everything and I was not happy with anything. Now I realize that the reason for all that was the nervousness inside me. I had too many apprehensions and a feeling if all this was worth it. Every time we went shopping I had a heavy heart seeing the amount of money spent on my wedding. So much pressure to look fair and pretty! What not?

But now when I think about it all that tension was unnecessary. My parents were more than happy to spend on my wedding and they always wanted me to have the best as if this was their last chance to get me things that I wanted. I should have just enjoyed their love and care for me instead of worrying!

I worried about my brides maids. I knew each one of them personally and my family cared for them and was more than happy to have them around. But still I worried about them. What a waste of time! I should have just trusted my family for taking care of them and my friends for being adjusting like always

I was so worried about my looks too! Ha ha...

Jokes apart... the message I am trying to convey here is that don't take up responsibilities during your own wedding. Even if everything is not in place on your wedding day you will not know about it because you will be busy smiling at everyone :) So might as well start smiling a week earlier.

I lost a lot of weight worrying... fought with my parents for very silly things. Thankfully they knew that it was my frustrated mind and body which caused all that unrest. There are days where I really wish I could be a bride once again and enjoy my most beautiful day!

Women like to be like Men

Women want to learn astrophysics, climb trees, drive a bus and go to the other end of the globe sailing a boat! Why not? Really why not? Why should only men have all the fun???

Women are equal to Men and they are not meant to stay back home, give birth to children and take care of a family!

With basic education women say I have studied “so much” and I am not expected to stay at home. I am meant to be elsewhere, doing big things! I will get married only if I find a guy more qualified than I am and who will let me live a life full of freedom... I feel like laughing at it! How foolish? How insignificant are these criterion end of the day?

Women in this era are on the run to become like men... they wish to earn hefty amounts of salary. They forget the beauty of supporting the family emotionally and takes pride in supporting the family financially because it is manly. They look at staying back home for their own children as suppression and loss of opportunity. I am one of them myself!

But I got this realization when I met a lady who graduated from National Law School, Bangalore and is now married and a mother of 3 beautiful children. In spite of being in the US with a lot of opportunities she decided to stay back home and take care of her family. She doesn’t demand for an opportunity cost as she doesn't think it is a wasted opportunity. So now what happened to all her high level education? Education is not means to make money! Her education remains with her and has developed a unique culture in her. She uses her education to be a refined person and people love her and respects her for her personality and confidence. She is a super mom, a wife with wisdom and a social contributor.

I feel like these days Men ensure their counterparts enjoy enough freedom. So women should not exploit this freedom but make sure they use the freedom to be independent and be a responsible daughter, sister, wife, mother etc and not try hard to be a son, brother, father etc Look at the larger picture and do what you are meant to do and let the others do what they are meant to do! Never let education and a fancy job to restrict your life and restrict your future. Its supposed to give you more options in life!

I don't know if am digging my own grave but I realize there are several such examples... examples of women who abide by the law of nature and not go against it!

Work Life Balance :)

A favorite topic for all married women! A mandatory topic in all HR classes! A practically difficult topic in most marriages! One and only topic we have fought for in our marriage of 10 months and engagement of 3 years and 2 days!

Ha ha... its so funny how every time we come up with new strategies to materialize "work life balance" and invariably fail every time

Well after a lot of effort on tackling this issue I have decided to take a different stroll this time and I was inspired by one of my aunts who said everyone must have a passion in life! In others words everyone must be engaged in something that will keep them busy and generates interest and excitement on a daily basis

A healthy living could be your passion. In which case you get back home from work with a plan to work out, prepare a healthy meal for your family and believe in “early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise”. You may think this is a daily routine and hence it is monotonous but if its your passion you take it beyond routine. Surf the internet to find out new ways to healthy living, maintain a blog with all your healthy living practices, go out shopping, grow a few vegetables and so on a so forth

A fashionable life style could be your passion! surf through all the various online sites and do window shopping. Create an opinion on various products and blog your views. Buy, Exchange and Return! Spend time finding the right size, research on cloth type and design, get familiar with unknown brands. There is so much to do

When asked about my hobby, I always make up things because that's like the worst of all questions I can be asked. I don't have a hobby as such. I can neither sing nor dance. I don't have a stamp collection... but passion is different. You don't need to be talented to be passionate!

All those of you who worry about “Work Life Balance”, try out this new mantra! If you not naturally passionate about something take an effort and become passionate about something that you are remotely interested in and develop it into a living habit that keeps you moving...

Key to being happy is keep yourself busy with things that interest you :) Thn you will realise you have attained "Work Life balance". You'll end up working as much as your husband :)

Experiences are worth it!

A lot has happened over the past one year where I have not even got the time to write a blog!

A lot in the sense I graduated from college, got married, shifted into a new place, a new house and a new family altogether, made new friends, changed my identity, shopped online, traveled abroad, started a new job, a new industry, made new blunders, met up with a few road accidents, attended the first funeral ever in my house and more

Looking back at everything that happened over the last one year, I realize that there were good and bad experiences but they were all “experiences worth it” !!! I started appreciating the importance of having experiences in life. Now I know how to empathize with others who have similar experiences! How unfortunate it is if we are unable to empathize with others!
This brings me back to my first ever dreadful experience of losing my wallet with everything under the sun in it! My wallet had all my ATM cards, identity cards, visiting cards, letters with memories, room keys and cash! I was literally stranded in the middle of the road not knowing how to proceed without cash, identity and keys to my room. That's when my father called me up and consoled me saying “ take this is as an experience which will help you empathize with others in similar situations. Now you know how to react when your friend or any stranger on the road loses a wallet”

Likewise I've never been able to see a situation where my loved ones die till I lost my dear uncle recently. Now I perfectly know how people feel when they lose someone close to them. Everything looks more real now. Death has become a reality and the need to live a good life has become a necessity in my life

We hear of accidents every day through the newspaper and other media sources but how many of us have been able to live the trauma encountered by people in the play? Accidents were always a news for me till I hit a man on the road... that too because of my lack of concentration. By the grace of God the man survived without serious injuries but I had just another big experience in life. Now I know how the drivers feels after an accident... The driver's heart stops!

This is how I console myself when something unfortunate happens in my life! I tell myself “ next time when something like this happens to someone, I know how it feels and I will be able to give a helping hand”
Isn't this a beautiful feeling :)

Little dew drops of joy in learning @ Rajagiri Business School

Since mid of 2010 Rajagiri Business School has been treating me well with a number of activities which were absolutely not in my list of expectations on what my life in a business school would be...

First of it all started with the rural sensitization camp of which I haven’t blogged as there were too many details to be covered and I failed in conveying the essence of it. In short this camp is an initiative taken by the college to introduce rural India to the large majority of students, who have never seen a night without lights, taps without water and plates without food and who always thought that business (marketing, finance, HR and operations) happen in the big cities and metros. The 7 day rural sensitization camp called Disha which meant direction in Malayalam was set up in Kattapana, Idukki district, Kerala where we were given a government school building to spend our nights and the entire space around to live the day. Kattapana is a hill station where the temperature dips to 15 degrees Centigrade at night and drizzles all day. Our days at the camp started at 6 am officially with an assembly but unofficially it started at 4 am fighting for the 3 toilets that were meant to serve more than a hundred girls. If you are lucky, by the time your chance comes there will be water in the toilet otherwise better find your way out today and better luck tomorrow!!! It was meant to be that way...it’s not that the management didn’t know about the difficulties! Resource management is the theory behind it!  We lived amongst the rural residents in Kattapana, working our days with the residents to construct roads to building houses, managed our chilling cold nights on benches that was barely our own size. The rural camp is to date one of my best experiences from college.

Next in line was Vanavasom which was a 2 day camp near Peechi dam. Unlike the case of the rural camp we had a pleasant stay with clean beds, toilets with water supply and excellent food! It was a treat to our body and mind. Vanavasom is an initiative taken by Rajagiri Business School with an aim to make its students managers who are employable. In the quiet and peaceful camp site we were engaged with several personality tests where we analyzed our self and our fellow group mates with an intention to help each other become better human beings. Everyone made the best out of it by taking it seriously and giving feedback that were absolutely certain and constructive. The most exciting part of it all was when our invisible friends revealed their identity! A week before the camp each one of us were given an invisible friend who we had to observe for a week...observe his or her positives, negatives, points of excellence, points of improvement etc. No one knew who was watching them but everyone knew there was someone watching! We revealed our identity only during the camp...there were sounds of joy and tears of realization when the feedback was given by the respective invisible friends. I myself felt as if some sort of a self realization has happened to me! I got to know what people think about me and where I have to improve to become a socially acceptable person!

The last of the three unique activities organised by college was an out bound training camp organized in collaboration with Kalypso!!! It got over last night and I am all high on Kalypso!!! I dint believe it when my seniors said it was one of the best!

Kalypso was organized in Surianelli (Near Munnar)... again an extremely cold place! The main aim of the training was to take us through various ice breakers and games which would help us connect to real life situations and learn what exactly is meant by leadership, team work, an individual, competition, task, trust etc It was simply amazing how great learning were derived from each of the games we played as a group. Books and lectures taught us theories and concepts but Kalypso proved that the theories work and the concepts are simply amazing! The camp did not just end with activities and learning...we slept in tents (with sleeping bags), drank the best morning coffee, ate good food, enjoyed the camp fire and took pictures that would be memories of tomorrow. I had a wonderful time with the Kalypso team headed my Commander R Madhusoodanan and my fellow classmates.

Now it’s just another trimester to say good bye to my student life and discover other ventures in life...Thank God that everything went off better than expected so far  :)

What a Small World it is!

Isn’t it amazing how networking happens? Talk to a friend, browse through his/her photos and listen to stories to only discover that you have a mutual friend! The World is only getting smaller by the day...It’s become so much smaller from those days where it took ages to get a call from Grandparents in the US to just a missed call away... I can only think back that long!

Surprises happen to me regularly and every time I get excited when there is a connection established and made stronger with a mutual friend.

Browsing through a picture album of one of my very good friends I realised that I have tried out one of her best friend’s dresses without knowing who she was!!! Diya and Pooju J I have heard so many stories about Pooju from Diya but missed to recognize Pooju when I saw her in a tailor shop almost a year back when I liked her dress and wanted something similar and was allowed to try it out to see for myself! I guess she was so generous because somewhere in our minds we knew each other! Life gets too exciting at times!!!

This phenomenon happens all the time in Facebook and it is one of my favourite applications in facebook. Every time I add a new friend I realise how there are surprising mutual friends!

And every time I conclude... WHAT A SMALL WORLD IT IS...

The Coral Necklace

The diamond necklace is what we often hear about! Since our elementary education, in various languages with varying characters!

But recently I encountered with a situation in my own life which is worth a story telling session... A story about the Coral Necklace! I initially thought of naming the story as ‘showers of blessing’ because the showers of blessings were felt...

As a Child, I fantasised a wedding like my mother’s wedding... Just like all other little girls who looked upon their mothers as role models in case of fashion, intelligence, strength, beauty etc. I admired the sari, the jewellery and the flowers she wore on her wedding day...What a beauty!

This was also a period of my life where possessiveness and selfishness were finding their way in. That mere innocence of a child was melting away and I dint feel the same about the people around me. Now I say that my family consists of my parents, brother, sister and grandmother but at that point of time, I felt like my sister’s caretaker, my mother’s gardener and my father’s diver were also a part of my family. They were home every morning before I opened my eyes and helped my family in everything they wanted. I was more than happy when my parents helped these extended family members financially or otherwise. I always thought these are the people who will be there forever to take care of our house and the people in it. I was so close to all of them that I used to shop with them, dine with them and have many good memories of the time I’ve spent with them as a child.

The situation changed with the marriage of our gardener’s daughter. My parents were not in a situation to support them financially and conduct the marriage entirely or even a hold a major chunk of the expenses. My mother, duty bound, took a drastic step by giving away her coral necklace to the bride!!! Imagine!!! Like a little girl of 9 years old!!! Worse, I got to know about the act after several days... I was fuming...upset...

I always dreamt of legacies...like in movies! Especially the British ones where a necklace, a pendant, a clock, or a hair clip is passed on to the future generations... I thought the coral necklace was one of those and I could not believe that my mother felt nothing at all about it... No sentiments attached! I screamed aloud and cried but the answer I got from my mother was ‘My father gave me the coral necklace and I have all the right to do anything with it. Likewise your father will give you jewellery for your wedding and you can do anything you wish to do with it’. Trust me that was no consolation...How will I make my mother understand the meaning of legacy??? Now I am smiling :)

It has been so many years now...the gardener and his family have gone with the wind...his daughter’s dint want their father to be a gardener as they got married to educated men. Gardening is unprofessional apparently...I made sure I used every opportunity to tell my mother she was wrong while she kept her silence with a smile...

Now it is time for me to get married!

Like a child, I still fantasy a coral necklace. Every time we go jewellery shopping, I look around for a coral necklace and every time the shopkeeper gives a lame answer...it is out of fashion! Do I care?

Finally, the last bit of jewellery shopping is going on with the rising gold prises and to my surprise, I see an antique piece! Yes! An antique coral necklace in the corner most part of a glass shelf in Vumudi Bengaru...To make it sound more dramatic I can say that it was my mom’s coral necklace...But somehow this is no fairy tale but a true story :P

The Lord never punished me for being so materialistic and nagging my mother for so many years... through this act – ‘shower of blessing’ I feel like the Lord is reassuring me that everything is in his hands...he has the right to give things and take away things. The Lord just helped the gardener and his family through my mother.

It takes time but the Lord takes care of every wish, every drop of tear and rewards every right action!

Quiz days :) Valare!

Now that it is time for another Inflore and National Quiz I am suddenly left behind thinking of those days. I would say one of the few terrifying days in my life... When I think about it I am glad it all went well after all the sleepless nights and tiresome days. The NSE sponsored National Quiz happened... A corporate team won a Lakh of prize money and a student team won half a lakh and it all ended in style. The file was closed! But a new chapter began with a new set of friends who made my life happier! I remember the day one of them asking if I could join the Quiz committee and help in the logistics part J Delighted I was!!! Bina, Megha, Jesse and Krishnan, it was supper scary working with you guys!!! Especially when you were all on top my head at 4am testing my excel competency!!! God!!! This bunch made sure that I get out of the committee tougher than I got in! Hanish was certainly a consolation. Nithya was terribly sweet by walking with me and making me practice my scariest public speech (ha ha it was only 5 lines but scary enough for me!). Thanks to Paul for vanishing in between so I could go replace him in escorting one of our guest and hence miss the public speech! My experience working with this truly talented bunch of seniors was exemplary. Saw a lot of management, talents, capabilities, frustrations, crisis handling and so on and so forth. During the quiz days we all shared a very professional relationship with only discussions about work and how we could do our best to make the event a success but now we have all crossed the boundaries and gotten into each other’s lives. Jess has become my mentor in taking rational decisions, Meg understands me to an extend where she doesn’t complain even if I don’t spend time with her especially when she is next door after a long period of time! Beeeen, hugs me and makes me feel great every time I meet her. Ha ha and Krishnan continues to eat my head! Whatever said and done I am their marriage counsellor!!! Waiting for the day we can all meet up once again and bitch about all the men around (Not you Krishnan!) but also talk about the positive side of getting married!

With all the memories from last year’s National Quiz (the 1^st of its kind in Rajagiri) I am looking forward to working with the new quiz committee. Hanish and I still remain as if we are taking forward a legacy.

Will B Schools have to take off Business Ethics from their course structure?

If Jan Lokpal bill comes into existence, certainly yes!!! I say this because unethical behaviour in business will be history and a new course on marketing will have to be included! 

After going through a course in Business ethics I realised how business is all about cheating... the only difference is that the level of cheating sounds insignificant. This reminds me of confessions that Christians make before taking the Holy Communion. I shouldn’t be generalising but I personally don’t include sins like lying, fighting with parents, going to bed without praying etc in my confessions. I have gotten so used to all this that I feel like I am questioning the sanctity of the significance of confessions if I include these sins.

Likewise if you look at the business World there are n numbers of examples on how marketers have masked facts to sell their products; has there been a living example of a person who has become fair using ‘fair and lovely’? Koutons advertises in all its stores across India saying that they provide “50%+40% discount on all products”. Are the customers really getting 90% discount as they are made to believe? Lifebuoy soap says "Wash away swine flu germs" when the scientist across the globe are sitting in their labs to come up with a medicine!  If reputed companies like Unilever can come up with such false promises what is the case with other companies who don’t even have to worry about protecting their reputation. Clearly these are examples of dishonesty...

The Oxford dictionary defines corruption as ‘dishonest or illegal behaviour’. Does the Lokpal bill have a different definition for corruption? Or will companies like Unilever be on the pin point of Lokpal bill?

We can’t even say that the level of corruption is in a different scale in these cases because if we consider the kind of money large FMCG companies are making by selling their products through tactics is significant enough and considerable. We overlook such marketing practices because a lot of us believe what H.G Wells, a well known English Author once said “Advertising is legalized lying”.

Gifted Hands

Recently I happened to see ‘Gifted Hands’ - A movie by Jaishon Fisher. Jaishon Fisher acts as Dr. Ben Carson, an American neurosurgeon and the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. In 1987, Carson made medical history by being the first surgeon in the world to successfully separate Siamese twins (the Binder twins) conjoined at the back of the head (craniopagus twins). The movie is all about the life of this legend in the book of medicine.

I was totally inspired by this movie for the fact that there were instances which depicted true faith in God.

I was terrifically moved when Dr. Ben told his patient’s parents that he prays EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE (When he was asked if he prays). Dr. Ben is the World’s most successful neurosurgeon, He has a wife who understands the challenges he is facing being a Doctor of such stature, and he has Children who are smart and intelligent. He has a mother who has been ever supportive and a very successful brother. The only possible flaw in his life since he was born was that he did not have a father. This was a significant issue when he was a child but with all the other blessings and his father’s absence over the years made it an insignificant issue in his life. But still he prays EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE!!!

If the same question is posed towards me my answer would be the same but I won’t be able to say it with such confidence as Dr Ben did. It is true that I also pray every single day but at times just to finish the job. It is like the difference between listening and hearing. I feel very lazy and tiered when it is finally time to pray in days when there are no troubles in life. I end up lying down and praying and eventually dozing off. On the other hand when there is a slight problem I am all in prayers! I am so satisfied in life when I am able to pray and for this reason I never pray that my troubles pass but just reduce them to a level I can bear them. It is a blessing to be in a situation to pray on a daily basis even without any issues in life.

Yet another instance where the power of prayers was seen in the movie is when Dr. Ben as a teen age boy was susceptible to teenage issues. He got into wrong company of friends and got involved in drug pedaling. He got influenced by his friends (Just like anyone of his age) and believed that his clothes were not cool enough and his life was not happening enough. This was when Ben Stole money from his mother’s hard earned savings and bought a Swiss knife which he thought would definitely make him look cool. However at one instance he lost his temper against a friend and took his knife out and swabbed it across. Ben and everyone around were terrified and he felt that the World was crashing beneath his feet. But the guardian angel guided the boy and to his amusement realized that the knife had hit the buckle of his friend’s belt and broken into pieces and the friend was all fine. Ben ran for his life and shut himself in his room. A treat to my eyes – The first thing he did was take the bible that was lying in his room and hold it close to his heart and cry! He cried saying “Lord! Lord! You have to take this temper away from me” and sang the song “Jesus all the world to me, my life my troy and my all. He is my strength from day to day... without him I would fall”. This is unusual for a teenager who always tries to justify himself. Only very few are gifted with such wisdom to know that the only way out of troubles is through God and can be achieved only through prayers.

A final point: “Thy will be done Lord, Amen” is what Dr. Ben prayed just before getting into the operation theater to do his very first surgery on his own. Dr. Ben was very specific about his prayers. He did not ask for success in his venture but asked the lord’s wish whatsoever it was. Due to several instances in my life I had taken a decision to follow the Lord’s will a few years ago and now I can proudly say that I am a lot happier in life doing what the Lord wants me to do. He certainly knows all my dreams and wishes but gives me the best. Being a human being I miss out on the best as it could be beyond my comprehension but the Lord always gives the best. In one of my tough days a friend very close to my heart said “Leave it to the Lord, He will give you the 1st best thing and not even the 2nd best thing”. Her words were really powerful I hold her advice very close to my heart.

Superficially the movie depicts that Dr. Ben is who he is because of his gifted hands, with special emphasis on his talents and capabilities. But a closer view with an open mind clearly shows that the gifted hand is his wisdom! His closeness to God and life through prayers has got him to where he is.

Watching this movie, I so badly wish everyday was the same for me when it comes to praying! No matter how well I do in life or how famous I become my only wish is that I be able to pray with strong feelings every night before bed!

Mohan Kuruvilla – From the State of Bihar

I always thought I was a born marketer just because I was successful in persuasion and selling but now I am getting a feeling that whatever I sold till now was just by chance...by the grace a of God! Marketing is not what I thought... It is no easy job which anyone can do!
Going into my 4th trimester in Rajagiri Business School, I was blessed by intuition and took B2B as an elective course without knowing who Prof. Mohan Kuruvilla was. It was a mere coincidence as I dint even know what B2B is to say that I chose the paper because I liked the topic! Now all I have to say is... It’s not every day that you come across such powerful words!
Does all literature wonders happen on Sunday’s in Rajagiri? Vijay Menon Sir also made his entry on a Sunday!!!
I was home for three days and laziness had already crept in me while I was travelling in a transport bus from Kottayam to Kochi where I happened to chat with my senior who gave me a brief idea about what B2B classes are going to be like! I believe she dint want to overdo her excitement so I could feel it for myself. The weak self I am was overloaded with information on how hectic the next few days are going to be and how I should sleep and eat well to keep myself up and moving for the next few days. I was so not in a mood to start the B2B classes as I was fed up of the hectic schedules with an overload of academic work. With such a dejected lethargic mood I managed to drag myself to the B2B class that started at 11am on Sunday 26th June, 2011 with a single prayer to God, requesting for my survival as I knew that 15 hours were going to be completed in 3 days!
Post 11 am, Sunday, was a plethora of live situations! Case studies are dead and buried and it becomes interesting only when they are brought alive through role plays is what the legend said. Can you believe a Man who is loaded with wisdom, enriched with information and experience acting out every case study in a class of 30 young students? Well he did!!! We, all my friends in the B2B class lived the life of a marketer in those 15 hours spread across the 3 days. I can’t remember an instance where I was distracted or where I was trying to fight sleep like I mostly do.
Is it his base voice, with which he spoke? or was it the voice modulation? He dint not stammer once ... He spoke on behalf of the receptionist Sheela, the watchman Shyamsundar, Purchase manager Yadav, R&D manager, Marketing manager and the CEO like in real life. I could even picturize myself walking up the stairs to meet the chief chef to sell edible oil. Sales and marketing became a reality in life! The ‘corporate yoga’ and everything what ‘Kotler said’ became a reality.
Prof. Mohan Kuruvilla has a very different view point towards education and the education system. We were very happy to know that he doesn’t conduct midterm exams but little did we know about the quizzes. Everything in his class was application driven. There was no mugging up or writing that had to be done. He spend the first few hours touching up on or basics, giving us better clarity on a few topics that we thought we knew... he told us how health was most important and marks were least important. He gave us the freedom to go out of classes whenever we wanted a break and promised to give us 10 minutes break every 50 minutes. He also advised us to “sleep when it comes as we don’t know when it will come next”. The beauty of his teaching was that every concept in B2B marketing was backed by a real life example enacted through a role play. 18 years with the Tata group gave him enough experience to talk about every situation that could arise in B2B marketing. He encouraged us to speak our views in class. If we dint know what to answer to encouraged us to try!
Eagerly waiting for the next 15 hours of B2B marketing....

Why don't we remember what we did in School or in college?

I feel like I live in a world where education has lost its essence!

In my generation, I rarely see people who can talk about the subjects that they learned in school or in college. The typical answer they have is “Oh I did that 2 years back when I was in college! How can you expect me to remember that?”, “Yes it is true that I was the gold medalist in college but again that was 4 years back!” I too make such excuses all the time. It is like we have to delete a few folders from our memory to add new ones! For the same reason I thought it was normal to forget old things... and make space for new additions!

But, recently I realized how wrong I was. I met up with my grandfather’s cousin brother in Chennai and had a discussion with him. He is 70 years old and he wanted to learn how to SMS using the dictionary mode. I was more than happy to help him as this was one subject I dint have to make excuses about not knowing the subject. Anyway that’s beyond the point of my discussion. I was shocked at the way he was showering me with his knowledge...the subjects he did in law school around 45 years back (Not 2 years or 4 years!!!)

I obviously thought it was just him... but again I was wrong! Almost every educated person in their generation had a clear understanding of the subjects that they learned in School... especially English grammar and arithmetic.
So is it the current education system that should be blamed? Or is it that our generation is less intelligent from the previous?

Grades grades and only grades are in our minds now! But I don’t blame us for that mindset. Only good grades allow us to enter the next level of our career building game! Book stores are filled up with R-Kumars and S Chands...most frequently asked questions, past 10 years question papers, chapter wise questions and answers....and you name the kind of shortcut you need and you’ll get it! But only questions and answers! No theory is available... No understanding is required to clear exams! Just mug it up and spit it out in the exam hall... After all this, how can you expect someone to remember what they studied in college 2-3 years later?
I think we should be very careful in choosing our career path. I know that only a few are gifted with a clear mind to know what they want to do in college and further. However constant prayers and deep focus can help 

I feel ashamed to say that I am educated... and now God has given me yet another chance to study.. .a chance to grow up once again 

Are "we" the "we" on facebook?

We have all become so addicted to Facebook that we fail to notice that it is controlling over lives...to an extend that we suffer from an identity crisis!

Recently, I noticed how we move around with a camera, looking for moments fit to take a picture that will make our lives look interesting and make us look beautiful! Then the first thing we do after reaching home is look through the pictures a hundred times to select the ones in which we look gorgeous and our life looks exciting! It is very rare that we get a balance of both and then we decide to put pictures in which we look nice even if it is not an interesting picture.... AND THEN UPLOAD IT ON FACEBOOK... Check every second after that to see if anyone has commented on it!

So now we have a profile in which we look beautiful ... all prim and proper! But in reality are we what our Facebook profile depicts us to be?
We are not only putting ourselves in to an identity crisis but also missing out on a lot in life...

Recently I went to a beach to spend an evening with two of my friends and we had a nice time.... POSING for pictures!!! At almost every moment at least one of us was clicking pictures!!! Then we spend a few minutes looking for a person who could click a picture with all three of us!!! It was really good fun but it would have been better if we dint have to worry about our looks...

In another instant, I was scanning through a folder of pictures from my friend’s trip to Rishikesh for white water rafting and I realized that each and every picture was suitable to be uploaded as a profile picture in Facebook! There wasn’t a single picture which had an underlying story or a picture with dirty clothes and ruffled hair! They claim they had a wonderful time during the trip but the pictures were not speaking for them!

It is really a sad state...

Take wildest of wild pictures and capture the actual essence of your life and send it to people close to you and maintain your identity! Capture natural moments so you’ll have a hundred things to tell your folks a couple of years later!
Be yourself and enjoy every moment... Let Facebook and photo clicks not control you life!

P.S: I am not sure if this is the case with men! And I love Facebook and I am a very active user 

Opposites Attract?

It’s is so strange how we judge people or in particular couples by their outward appearance!

There are so many couples that I come across in my daily life... a few in movies, some on the streets and some others in coffee shops... For many at times I have stopped to ask myself what is it that makes those two people in that movie, street or coffee shop a couple? In my eyes the girl looks annoying, boy looks desperate, girl looks ugly, boy is shy and still he or she claims to be in love!

Couples in movies confuse me... I always wonder if there are real couples like those depicted in movies. For instance the couple in ‘500 years of summer’; I thought summer was not worth her boy friend, Tom. She is so annoying and talks arbit stuff and sticks her views and day dreams. In spite of all this Tom is totally in love with her.

It is vague how Florentino Ariza continued to love Fermina Daza in ‘Love in the time of cholera’ in spite of her leaving him to get married to a guy of her father’s choice

I know a couple who has survived for six years now without meeting each other in spite of being in the same city!

All this reminds me of my vague habit of sitting in coffee shops and watching people... surely not to an extent to make them uncomfortable! I watch them; think about their homes, relations, qualifications, commitments...and once I noticed myself wondering how an obese lady was in love with a physically fit, handsome guy who was sitting adjacent to me in a CCD in Mumbai. I could not stop thinking about them and I asked my friend, who was happily sipping her electric blue drink! She thought of it for a second and suggested that it could be because the girl is really rich and the boy is after it!!! I dint argue though I dint agree... I still have that question in me!!!

From what I have come across over the past few years of my life I can say real couples are made in heaven! For no applauding reason for human eyes, a guy could love a girl and vice-versa. There is definitely a proven justification behind the saying “opposites attract”!

“How can I get along with that person? He is just not like me!” How wrong is this statement? If “Opposites attract” is true!!!

I really appreciate people who respect a man and a woman in a relationship for what they are and not make comments like...” Oh God! How can that guy fall in love with such an ugly girl? “Or “Goodness what the hell was going on in that girls mind when she fell in love with that horrible looking guy?” or “ the couple looks like a black and white film” or “ one and zero is the best way to describe them”

There is no rhyme or reason for 2 people to fall in love! For the same reason there are good looking couples, happy couples, couples with a good chemistry etc...

I have promised myself to never again comment on other people for their humble circumstances that make them less privileged than I am!

So much for calculations!

Lately family and friends have been asking me if I have been reading inspirational books or adopting “religious” methods of speech...
For a second I wondered why!
At a second thought I realized how life has changed and how people have started noticing the change in me...
Earlier, almost every page in my note book had calculations... Yes I did math in college... but the calculations I am talking about is not from calculus! But calculations on the probability of clearing the wait list I managed to enter as part of the placement procedure in college, Calculations on the chance of getting a 1st division as my aggregate in college and calculations and calculations on what I will be, when!
Racked my brain to fill my book with these calculations...however my calculations worked and I got the job, managed a 1st division and entered a life of certainty!
But this certainty was short-lived!
I lost my job even before I could even say “I am an Analyst!” ...Had to put an end to my beautiful life in Mumbai and relocate once again! So much for my calculations! Dragged myself through sleepless nights and horrifying days wondering where I went wrong with my calculations!
Nothing exceptionally good happened for me to be happy again... I just promised myself to not make another calculation or try to control my life. I decided to take life as it comes and just be happy by counting the positives!
Now, I don’t believe in calculations! Que Sera sera... What will be.. will be...
Today, I am at peace! My life is not based on calculations anymore... I realize that acceptance is the only way to happiness!

Pen Power :)

I want to write! Almost every second, there is something that I want to discuss.. and I am better off writing than talking!

Hope to pen every thought and get a perspective...