Its always best to learn from other's mistakes than from one's own

Now that it is going to be a year since i've been married I look back and see that a lot has changed! But this change is acceptable and predictable to an extent because change is necessary if a long lasting marriage is desirable

However one thing that doesn't change and is irreversible is your marriage week! I am sure there are more things that do not change but this is one that came to my mind.

This one week before your wedding is very crucial for all brides and grooms... you can mess it up and regret it for the rest of your life! Or you can deck it up and cherish it for the rest of your life. I belonged to the former group. How unfortunate! In fact I was warned by an older cousin and I still messed it up

I was told not to take any responsibilities but just sit back relax and dream about my wedding day and days that follow but unfortunately I decided to get involved in everything that was going on... took too much load... wanted a say in everything and I was not happy with anything. Now I realize that the reason for all that was the nervousness inside me. I had too many apprehensions and a feeling if all this was worth it. Every time we went shopping I had a heavy heart seeing the amount of money spent on my wedding. So much pressure to look fair and pretty! What not?

But now when I think about it all that tension was unnecessary. My parents were more than happy to spend on my wedding and they always wanted me to have the best as if this was their last chance to get me things that I wanted. I should have just enjoyed their love and care for me instead of worrying!

I worried about my brides maids. I knew each one of them personally and my family cared for them and was more than happy to have them around. But still I worried about them. What a waste of time! I should have just trusted my family for taking care of them and my friends for being adjusting like always

I was so worried about my looks too! Ha ha...

Jokes apart... the message I am trying to convey here is that don't take up responsibilities during your own wedding. Even if everything is not in place on your wedding day you will not know about it because you will be busy smiling at everyone :) So might as well start smiling a week earlier.

I lost a lot of weight worrying... fought with my parents for very silly things. Thankfully they knew that it was my frustrated mind and body which caused all that unrest. There are days where I really wish I could be a bride once again and enjoy my most beautiful day!

Women like to be like Men

Women want to learn astrophysics, climb trees, drive a bus and go to the other end of the globe sailing a boat! Why not? Really why not? Why should only men have all the fun???

Women are equal to Men and they are not meant to stay back home, give birth to children and take care of a family!

With basic education women say I have studied “so much” and I am not expected to stay at home. I am meant to be elsewhere, doing big things! I will get married only if I find a guy more qualified than I am and who will let me live a life full of freedom... I feel like laughing at it! How foolish? How insignificant are these criterion end of the day?

Women in this era are on the run to become like men... they wish to earn hefty amounts of salary. They forget the beauty of supporting the family emotionally and takes pride in supporting the family financially because it is manly. They look at staying back home for their own children as suppression and loss of opportunity. I am one of them myself!

But I got this realization when I met a lady who graduated from National Law School, Bangalore and is now married and a mother of 3 beautiful children. In spite of being in the US with a lot of opportunities she decided to stay back home and take care of her family. She doesn’t demand for an opportunity cost as she doesn't think it is a wasted opportunity. So now what happened to all her high level education? Education is not means to make money! Her education remains with her and has developed a unique culture in her. She uses her education to be a refined person and people love her and respects her for her personality and confidence. She is a super mom, a wife with wisdom and a social contributor.

I feel like these days Men ensure their counterparts enjoy enough freedom. So women should not exploit this freedom but make sure they use the freedom to be independent and be a responsible daughter, sister, wife, mother etc and not try hard to be a son, brother, father etc Look at the larger picture and do what you are meant to do and let the others do what they are meant to do! Never let education and a fancy job to restrict your life and restrict your future. Its supposed to give you more options in life!

I don't know if am digging my own grave but I realize there are several such examples... examples of women who abide by the law of nature and not go against it!

Work Life Balance :)

A favorite topic for all married women! A mandatory topic in all HR classes! A practically difficult topic in most marriages! One and only topic we have fought for in our marriage of 10 months and engagement of 3 years and 2 days!

Ha ha... its so funny how every time we come up with new strategies to materialize "work life balance" and invariably fail every time

Well after a lot of effort on tackling this issue I have decided to take a different stroll this time and I was inspired by one of my aunts who said everyone must have a passion in life! In others words everyone must be engaged in something that will keep them busy and generates interest and excitement on a daily basis

A healthy living could be your passion. In which case you get back home from work with a plan to work out, prepare a healthy meal for your family and believe in “early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise”. You may think this is a daily routine and hence it is monotonous but if its your passion you take it beyond routine. Surf the internet to find out new ways to healthy living, maintain a blog with all your healthy living practices, go out shopping, grow a few vegetables and so on a so forth

A fashionable life style could be your passion! surf through all the various online sites and do window shopping. Create an opinion on various products and blog your views. Buy, Exchange and Return! Spend time finding the right size, research on cloth type and design, get familiar with unknown brands. There is so much to do

When asked about my hobby, I always make up things because that's like the worst of all questions I can be asked. I don't have a hobby as such. I can neither sing nor dance. I don't have a stamp collection... but passion is different. You don't need to be talented to be passionate!

All those of you who worry about “Work Life Balance”, try out this new mantra! If you not naturally passionate about something take an effort and become passionate about something that you are remotely interested in and develop it into a living habit that keeps you moving...

Key to being happy is keep yourself busy with things that interest you :) Thn you will realise you have attained "Work Life balance". You'll end up working as much as your husband :)

Experiences are worth it!

A lot has happened over the past one year where I have not even got the time to write a blog!

A lot in the sense I graduated from college, got married, shifted into a new place, a new house and a new family altogether, made new friends, changed my identity, shopped online, traveled abroad, started a new job, a new industry, made new blunders, met up with a few road accidents, attended the first funeral ever in my house and more

Looking back at everything that happened over the last one year, I realize that there were good and bad experiences but they were all “experiences worth it” !!! I started appreciating the importance of having experiences in life. Now I know how to empathize with others who have similar experiences! How unfortunate it is if we are unable to empathize with others!
This brings me back to my first ever dreadful experience of losing my wallet with everything under the sun in it! My wallet had all my ATM cards, identity cards, visiting cards, letters with memories, room keys and cash! I was literally stranded in the middle of the road not knowing how to proceed without cash, identity and keys to my room. That's when my father called me up and consoled me saying “ take this is as an experience which will help you empathize with others in similar situations. Now you know how to react when your friend or any stranger on the road loses a wallet”

Likewise I've never been able to see a situation where my loved ones die till I lost my dear uncle recently. Now I perfectly know how people feel when they lose someone close to them. Everything looks more real now. Death has become a reality and the need to live a good life has become a necessity in my life

We hear of accidents every day through the newspaper and other media sources but how many of us have been able to live the trauma encountered by people in the play? Accidents were always a news for me till I hit a man on the road... that too because of my lack of concentration. By the grace of God the man survived without serious injuries but I had just another big experience in life. Now I know how the drivers feels after an accident... The driver's heart stops!

This is how I console myself when something unfortunate happens in my life! I tell myself “ next time when something like this happens to someone, I know how it feels and I will be able to give a helping hand”
Isn't this a beautiful feeling :)

Little dew drops of joy in learning @ Rajagiri Business School

Since mid of 2010 Rajagiri Business School has been treating me well with a number of activities which were absolutely not in my list of expectations on what my life in a business school would be...

First of it all started with the rural sensitization camp of which I haven’t blogged as there were too many details to be covered and I failed in conveying the essence of it. In short this camp is an initiative taken by the college to introduce rural India to the large majority of students, who have never seen a night without lights, taps without water and plates without food and who always thought that business (marketing, finance, HR and operations) happen in the big cities and metros. The 7 day rural sensitization camp called Disha which meant direction in Malayalam was set up in Kattapana, Idukki district, Kerala where we were given a government school building to spend our nights and the entire space around to live the day. Kattapana is a hill station where the temperature dips to 15 degrees Centigrade at night and drizzles all day. Our days at the camp started at 6 am officially with an assembly but unofficially it started at 4 am fighting for the 3 toilets that were meant to serve more than a hundred girls. If you are lucky, by the time your chance comes there will be water in the toilet otherwise better find your way out today and better luck tomorrow!!! It was meant to be that way...it’s not that the management didn’t know about the difficulties! Resource management is the theory behind it!  We lived amongst the rural residents in Kattapana, working our days with the residents to construct roads to building houses, managed our chilling cold nights on benches that was barely our own size. The rural camp is to date one of my best experiences from college.

Next in line was Vanavasom which was a 2 day camp near Peechi dam. Unlike the case of the rural camp we had a pleasant stay with clean beds, toilets with water supply and excellent food! It was a treat to our body and mind. Vanavasom is an initiative taken by Rajagiri Business School with an aim to make its students managers who are employable. In the quiet and peaceful camp site we were engaged with several personality tests where we analyzed our self and our fellow group mates with an intention to help each other become better human beings. Everyone made the best out of it by taking it seriously and giving feedback that were absolutely certain and constructive. The most exciting part of it all was when our invisible friends revealed their identity! A week before the camp each one of us were given an invisible friend who we had to observe for a week...observe his or her positives, negatives, points of excellence, points of improvement etc. No one knew who was watching them but everyone knew there was someone watching! We revealed our identity only during the camp...there were sounds of joy and tears of realization when the feedback was given by the respective invisible friends. I myself felt as if some sort of a self realization has happened to me! I got to know what people think about me and where I have to improve to become a socially acceptable person!

The last of the three unique activities organised by college was an out bound training camp organized in collaboration with Kalypso!!! It got over last night and I am all high on Kalypso!!! I dint believe it when my seniors said it was one of the best!

Kalypso was organized in Surianelli (Near Munnar)... again an extremely cold place! The main aim of the training was to take us through various ice breakers and games which would help us connect to real life situations and learn what exactly is meant by leadership, team work, an individual, competition, task, trust etc It was simply amazing how great learning were derived from each of the games we played as a group. Books and lectures taught us theories and concepts but Kalypso proved that the theories work and the concepts are simply amazing! The camp did not just end with activities and learning...we slept in tents (with sleeping bags), drank the best morning coffee, ate good food, enjoyed the camp fire and took pictures that would be memories of tomorrow. I had a wonderful time with the Kalypso team headed my Commander R Madhusoodanan and my fellow classmates.

Now it’s just another trimester to say good bye to my student life and discover other ventures in life...Thank God that everything went off better than expected so far  :)

What a Small World it is!

Isn’t it amazing how networking happens? Talk to a friend, browse through his/her photos and listen to stories to only discover that you have a mutual friend! The World is only getting smaller by the day...It’s become so much smaller from those days where it took ages to get a call from Grandparents in the US to just a missed call away... I can only think back that long!

Surprises happen to me regularly and every time I get excited when there is a connection established and made stronger with a mutual friend.

Browsing through a picture album of one of my very good friends I realised that I have tried out one of her best friend’s dresses without knowing who she was!!! Diya and Pooju J I have heard so many stories about Pooju from Diya but missed to recognize Pooju when I saw her in a tailor shop almost a year back when I liked her dress and wanted something similar and was allowed to try it out to see for myself! I guess she was so generous because somewhere in our minds we knew each other! Life gets too exciting at times!!!

This phenomenon happens all the time in Facebook and it is one of my favourite applications in facebook. Every time I add a new friend I realise how there are surprising mutual friends!

And every time I conclude... WHAT A SMALL WORLD IT IS...

The Coral Necklace

The diamond necklace is what we often hear about! Since our elementary education, in various languages with varying characters!

But recently I encountered with a situation in my own life which is worth a story telling session... A story about the Coral Necklace! I initially thought of naming the story as ‘showers of blessing’ because the showers of blessings were felt...

As a Child, I fantasised a wedding like my mother’s wedding... Just like all other little girls who looked upon their mothers as role models in case of fashion, intelligence, strength, beauty etc. I admired the sari, the jewellery and the flowers she wore on her wedding day...What a beauty!

This was also a period of my life where possessiveness and selfishness were finding their way in. That mere innocence of a child was melting away and I dint feel the same about the people around me. Now I say that my family consists of my parents, brother, sister and grandmother but at that point of time, I felt like my sister’s caretaker, my mother’s gardener and my father’s diver were also a part of my family. They were home every morning before I opened my eyes and helped my family in everything they wanted. I was more than happy when my parents helped these extended family members financially or otherwise. I always thought these are the people who will be there forever to take care of our house and the people in it. I was so close to all of them that I used to shop with them, dine with them and have many good memories of the time I’ve spent with them as a child.

The situation changed with the marriage of our gardener’s daughter. My parents were not in a situation to support them financially and conduct the marriage entirely or even a hold a major chunk of the expenses. My mother, duty bound, took a drastic step by giving away her coral necklace to the bride!!! Imagine!!! Like a little girl of 9 years old!!! Worse, I got to know about the act after several days... I was fuming...upset...

I always dreamt of legacies...like in movies! Especially the British ones where a necklace, a pendant, a clock, or a hair clip is passed on to the future generations... I thought the coral necklace was one of those and I could not believe that my mother felt nothing at all about it... No sentiments attached! I screamed aloud and cried but the answer I got from my mother was ‘My father gave me the coral necklace and I have all the right to do anything with it. Likewise your father will give you jewellery for your wedding and you can do anything you wish to do with it’. Trust me that was no consolation...How will I make my mother understand the meaning of legacy??? Now I am smiling :)

It has been so many years now...the gardener and his family have gone with the wind...his daughter’s dint want their father to be a gardener as they got married to educated men. Gardening is unprofessional apparently...I made sure I used every opportunity to tell my mother she was wrong while she kept her silence with a smile...

Now it is time for me to get married!

Like a child, I still fantasy a coral necklace. Every time we go jewellery shopping, I look around for a coral necklace and every time the shopkeeper gives a lame answer...it is out of fashion! Do I care?

Finally, the last bit of jewellery shopping is going on with the rising gold prises and to my surprise, I see an antique piece! Yes! An antique coral necklace in the corner most part of a glass shelf in Vumudi Bengaru...To make it sound more dramatic I can say that it was my mom’s coral necklace...But somehow this is no fairy tale but a true story :P

The Lord never punished me for being so materialistic and nagging my mother for so many years... through this act – ‘shower of blessing’ I feel like the Lord is reassuring me that everything is in his hands...he has the right to give things and take away things. The Lord just helped the gardener and his family through my mother.

It takes time but the Lord takes care of every wish, every drop of tear and rewards every right action!